I’ve tried writing a poem about social life and networks (on the internet and off the internet). I’m not very much pleased with what I have written but here it is: You want people to know you exist, Cannot be captured in that mist, (the mist appeared lovely from far away though) There is that new place to which we all intend to go. You [...]
Nature spoke at last, with sufficiency and pride: the world needs agony and affliction to survive and endure. The wind wailed, to fight for its liberty. The trees danced, preparing for a battle, to bring back their throne. The grass are asleep beneath the trees, peaceful and tranquil. The flowers dressed in white, blooming, waiting for their grooms. There are more in nature that we [...]
Write Other wise you will lose your voice and ghost your writing is divine your voice is high do not lose it never drop it whisper when you start be loud but never scream write for freedom fight for love and humanity it is your right live to write make it rhyme with might and light do not stop write there will [...]
On the 8th of March people were making a fuss around the International Women’s day, and I’ve decided not to take any actions. I have decided to write this today, 2 days after the 8th of March – the International Women’s day. Why? Because I think it’s ridiculous that we women should have a day to celebrate being women. And in that day, men pretend [...]
A poem I wrote last year on April. And sharing it here again today for Valentine’s day – my most miserable day of the year, and I sense this year will be no exception. Enjoy. It was an experiment indeed I did not care what you feel You were nothing but a man I shared intimacy to get it done There was a check on [...]
Sometimes I have this dream/thought of going to Ma’lul (the town my family was depopulated from) and build my own house (I will start with a tent of course) and let the Israeli army/country deal with it.
Today is the 65th commemoration day of the Nakba, and all I can think about is that there should be a change. We cannot always think about commemorating this day, commemorating a day of Nakba should not be our plan/future plan for the Palestinian people, but they should do something about the fact that we are immigrates and not real citizens that we no longer have our lands, and this situation has been like that for 65 years, and we see no development. We shouldn’t keep being like that, being extremely depressed about this day, and every event we keep showing how we have been victimized, but we should work on it and become real people, living in reality and actually fight for ourselves, develop our methodologies, instead of showing our miserable and unfortunate life. But what do I know anyway…
Here is a song by the Palestinian Artist Dalal Abu Amneh, a Palestinian musician, about the depopulated/demolished Palestinian towns, the song is called “Halbayt fe Ma’lul” – This house In Ma’lul.
I want to take this post and write something very personal for me. I try to avoid writing about my daily life and the people who are in it. But this time I want to write about my best friend, Tina. I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m writing her name in this post and that I’m going to write about her. But I can’t help it, this week she’s getting married.
I have met Tina in my first year of studies at the University, she studied with me and ever since we became good friends. She is my first best friend at the University. when I first met her I immediately found that we had one thing in common, our visit to the US, and that was enough for a beginning.
Tina has inspired me and taught me a lot. She has inspired me to fall in love, and see life perfectly fine even when you’re not having the perfect life. She has taught me to know my friends and my enemies, she has warned me that I cannot always trust people. She was like a mother and an older sister to me. And I always loved hanging out with a gorgeous and a cool girl.
She has been in a relationship with her fiance for nearly 10 years and she’s finally getting married. She has got her dreams house and she will have her dreams wedding. I only need to show up and be there for her wedding.
Those who really know me know how much I hate weddings. I do. I don’t enjoy wedding, attended by people I’m not familiar with, and loud music that I normally don’t like, and mostly because I don’t know how to dance to Arabic music. So basically no one finds me enjoying a wedding, unless there are drinks, but I fake my delight. This wedding is my best friend’s wedding, and I don’t have to fake anything, I will be more than delighted to see my friend getting married and being so happy. Her happiness is my happiness.
I actually cannot believe she is getting married. I mean, I know from the second I’ve met her that she’s going to be married soon, but it is a big deal for me, to see my best friend getting married. It is a huge step for her, and none of my friends got married, so I was never invited to a friend’s wedding before (only relatives), I have a married friend, but she was married before I’ve met her, and I have another married friend, but our friendship became very light and I hardly see her, so I didn’t go to her wedding, I wasn’t invited.
Tina is getting married and I’m more than excited for this occasion.
I’ve tried writing a poem about social life and networks (on the internet and off the internet). I’m not very much pleased with what I have written but here it is:
You want people to know you exist,
Cannot be captured in that mist,
(the mist appeared lovely from far away though)
There is that new place to which we all intend to go.
You spend some time in that new place Knowing that there is more than one race declaring your reflections on more than one plate
expecting admiration for your own social state
It is your own social life
cruel like a sharp knife
you have to network and play
with others that are busy to stay
I have been contemplating the actor’s situation in the country. I have studied theatre and I love acting, and even though I can barely find time to pursue this passion I still want to be an actress and find my place, in theatre and cinema. I still have a lot to learn, and I need experience before I decided to extend my theatre/acting studies. However, finding the opportunity to act is close to impossible, for no one wants to see inexperienced girl who is actually weird. So, I guess I can just act to myself, at home…
There is another reason theatre in this country is coming to an end, or it doesn’t really work well. Actors are narcissists, they think they’re God. While I was studying at the theatre department, most of my classmates were so proud and they were quite certain they are the best actors in the planet and each one of them deserves an Oscar. And when it comes to dealing with inexperienced students like myself, they couldn’t even try be as supportive. “You suck!” that was a feedback from a student-actor who was a year ahead of me, and far more experienced than myself. Others simply complained about my performances and couldn’t even support me. In all honesty I can now declare that I’m glad my theatre studies were only 2 years, otherwise I would have to tolerate all assholes at the theatre department. True, I’m inexperienced and my ideas of stage and performance are different than most of my classmates, but that doesn’t mean I can’t act or learn how to act.
A lot of people who work with actors (young actors) can easily declare their disappointment from the new generation – all actors are narcissists. I haven’t met a lot of actors, I only know few actors, mostly those who have studied with me. Some of the actors are actually good, and if they had less pride they’ll be great. When I met a guy who once taught me a theatre class he declared that he isn’t going back to teach at the University for “All actors students there are narcissists!” This person is a professional singer and works with so many actors and performers in the Arab world (and Europe), and he couldn’t tolerate our kind of actors. Another actor-director once taught us a workshop at the university and starting from the first session he told us “Put your ego aside! All of you!” now I know what was he talking about, unfortunately no one really listened to him, their ego grew. Another friend of mine who is a great actor and very successful told me that the problem with actors who study at the university think that they’re the best and that work is waiting for them. He said that when he studied acting they let him believe that he’s a “zero”, or even less, and that’s how he had to prove and improve himself, and now he’s really successful.
I’m sorry that I had to share this and write this crap on my blog, but I’m still frustrated and just recalling the memories from my studies and my days at the theatre department really discourages me to actually work with these kind of actors. I love working with people that really support and work to make others feel comfortable, but we rarely have any of those. I had no place at the theatre department and thus I want to make my own space and make my own kind of theatre, I want to be successful, but how can I be successful while no one really likes my style? Maybe I should just do my own show, quite humbly, and just enjoy it, without having to be successful.
Those who know me know that I’m not religious, and barely a believer. I have always admired the story of Jesus Christ, and didn’t have time to think about its accuracy. When people ask me about my religion, I always try not to reply with this stupid and shallow question.
I live in a country where religion is an issue (and people take it very seriously), there are 4 official religions in this country and racism is enhanced. The more religious, the more racist you are.
A lot of people on Facebook keep posting stuff like “Share if you love Jesus” and if you don’t share, you’re not a true christian and you hate Jesus. I don’t want to be a good Christian, I don’t even consider myself to be a Christian, let alone being a good one, as for Jesus, I don’t think he cares.
For all believers and non believers out there, religious and non religious, Christians, Druze, Muslims and Jews (and others), I found this on Facebook and would like to share this with you because it kind of touched me:
What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion
What if I told you voting Republican really wasn’t His mission?
What if I told you republican doesn’t automatically mean Christian
And just because you call some people blind doesn’t automatically give you vision
“You have her, you’ve never lost her.” He said, “You don’t know her value.”
He has fell in love with her ever since he can remember. He has always loved her and had only met her few times in his life. She is his dream, his passion and his inspiration. He has loved no one but her. She was never his, and will never be his, yet he felt a depth belonging to her majestic air and manner.
He wrote her poetry and music. He has treasured all his memories with her. He only lived about a hundred mile away from her, he would go to her every day if he could, but he couldn’t and it seems as though there will be no chance he will be able to see her again in the near future. During the few times he met her, he needed special permit. He cannot always have it.
He had dreamed about her, about her beauty, her voice, her smell, her everything… he lived his days believing that his dreams are true reality, even though he was deceived by those fantasies. As all men like him, he had hope, a strong faith that held a smile of pride on his handsome face.
“Can I ask you to do something for me?”, he once asked the girl he had phone conversations with.
“Anything”, she said, she was very fond of him.
“Can you go out to your balcony and call my name”, he requested, “I want her to hear my name. I want my name to fill her air.”
Being a Palestinian living in Israel gives me the privilege of being familiar with the Hebrew language and literature. Surly I’m not fond of the Hebrew language or the literature, I have read few stories and poems when I was at high school, but sometimes I find myself looking at new releases at the bookstores or in the literature section in the newspaper.
I must confess I barely read any books in Arabic, and people always respond with “Oh, you don’t know what you’re missing.” and I, in my turn, think that I read international books from all over the world, and that’s how I learn about different cultures, whereas in Arabic I only learn about my culture. Point is, I’m not missing anything, at least in my opinion.
Back to the Jewish literature. I used to study Hebrew literature back in high school and it wasn’t that bad, yet I didn’t proceed. Ever since I have finished high school, I have decided to focus on my English and read books in English.
You can be very lucky and have more than one section for English books, but that’s all you can get.
I have read this article in the newspaper this morning about a new law that forbids selling new books on sale. Surely I don’t buy books in Hebrew so what’s that to me? But still, it’s good to know that in Israel they take literature seriously and they encourage new authors to write and publish, and yet in book stores books are expensive, unless there are sales (during the Jewish holidays). People read what’s recommended in book stores, and there are only two chain stores for books in Israel, what’s on the shelf is what people read. People read bestsellers… and thus people don’t read what they need or what they want, but what they have in front of them… popular literature. Isn’t that what’s happening to us? We read popular literature instead of good literature, because we no longer know what is a good literature. The only place I find books to read is on the internet, on Goodreads and amazon. I order books from the Book Depository because they’re cheaper, and the rest I read on my Kindle. The English section in any book store in Israel is only 5% of the whole book shop, and there are rarely any sales. I still like to visit it from times to times though.
Still, in Israel, literature is taken seriously, the new banknotes will carry portraits of Israeli poets, which means, we will have to carry poets in our wallets anywhere we go (Article on Haaretz). I’m not a huge fan of the Jewish literature, but I think it’s nice.
Imagine I had a picture of Jane Austen on my 20 shekels (I would want to say 200 shekels, but I like carrying bills of 20 shekels), that would be nice. Yet I’m not English nor am I in England. I’m a Palestinian Arab in Israel.
I am filled with all your tears
I hold all your sorrows
and yet you smile when you see me
flowing
carrying every agony with me
my stream flows
it never stops
It glows
When all of them die
and their blood is shed into mine
I keep going
and flowing
I would like to trouble you with a matter that means a lot to me, and woul like to ask you to sign this petition online [click here to sign the petition] :
We call on the Israeli government to withdraw the Prawer Plan, which envisions the forced displacement of up to 70,000 indigenous Arab Bedouin citizens of Israel from their ancestral land in the Naqab (Negev) desert in southern Israel. The government of Israel must recognize the Arab Bedouin “unrecognized” villages and ancestral land claims, cease home demolitions, provide basic services, and engage in meaningful dialogue with the Arab Bedouin community and the Arab political leadership. This is the time to right a historic wrong, practice true
On January 27, 2013, the Israeli Cabinet put the Prawer Plan back on the agenda by approving new recommendations put forward by Minister Benny Begin. These do little to change the policy of displacing up to 70,000 Arab Bedouin citizens from 35 “unrecognized” villages in the Naqab (Negev) desert in Israel.
The original plan was approved by the government in September 2011 and isalready being implemented on the ground. The plan was proposed and adopted without consultation of the local community, and is a gross violation of the Arab Bedouin citizens’ constitutional and human rights to property, dignity, equality, adequate housing, and freedom to choose their own residence.
Arab Bedouin citizens of Israel have inhabited the Naqab since the seventh century and today constitute the most vulnerable community in Israel. The State of Israel considers 35 of their villages “illegal” and the inhabitants “trespassers on State land.” These villages lack all basic services like water, electricity, sewage, education, healthcare, and roads; the state fails to provide this infrastructure in order to “encourage” the Arab Bedouin citizens to abandon their historic villages.
The Prawer Plan is happening now, despite its complete rejection by the Arab Bedouin, and strong disapproval from the international community. More than 1,000 houses were demolished in 2011 alone.
Join Adalah in promoting and protecting the rights of the Arab Bedouin citizens of Israel in the face of continued injustice of the government policy of displacement and dispossession. Call on the Israeli government and Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu to Stop the Prawer Plan!
When my family (Al Bisharat) used to live in Ma’lul (at the time of British Mandate , before the Israeli Occupation), they used to be Roman Orthodox, they were strong believers (some of them are still strong believers, like brother). All of the Christians in Ma’lul used to be Roman Orthodox(My grandmother just told me). Unfortunately my family did not have a church of their own and they had to go and pray at a church that apparently used to belong to the Awad Family, I do not know if they were selfish or not, but they have refused to let anyone outside of the family pray at their own church. The Bisharat Family (my family) could not find any other church they can belong to.
Our Church in Ma’lul (our depopulated town)
They have decided to ask for help from the Archbishop in Nazareth, the Archbishop (I’ve forgot his name) has declared that it is not his business to interfere. So they have approached the Archbishop Al-Hajjar, and as far as I recall being told he is from Akka (Acre). This Archbishop has decided to be a bit helpful and declared that he will build the Bisharat family a church if they convert to Catholics (Melkites), and so they had. And that is how my family become Catholics instead of Orthodox.
I was never exactly religious or a strong believer (even though I used to enjoy praying when I was little). Now, I feel a complete detachment from faith and religion, and therefore I cannot share any religious experience. Still, I live in a society that still cherishes religions – too many religions (and cults). Religion is one of the subjects that is still sensitive to a lot of people. I cannot really hope that there will be no religions, but I can hope that there will be no discrimination.
Does it really matter if my family was actually an Orthodox and for some trivial reasons it is now Catholic? does it change anything to me? Does it change anything to anyone? What if I was originally a Muslim? or a Jew? Does it change anything?
Everything in life is a game, there is a loser and there is a winner, and surely the winner takes it all. The loser, he obviously stands small, that’s the destiny. Right? there are rules, and one cannot fight those rules.
After the victory there is no rematch, the rules must be obeyed I should just accept losing, walk away and move on. I’m not allowed to walk or look back. I have lost everything.
I was listening to this song, one of my favorite songs – always making me think how reality is. Breaking ups, losing friends, family and anything else is just part of every game reality has to offer.
